Mother’s Day for a special needs mama

Mother’s Day for a special needs mom does not look like everyone else’s day…..I am spending my Mother’s Day redirecting behaviors that are furiously present this week. I’m not saying this as negative, I’m saying it because it’s true, and I’m recognizing the hard. I try to share the good more than the bad, but sometimes the hard is an important part of our story too. It isn’t always positive new skills, or new words, or meds that work for a day or two.

There was no sleeping in, or special breakfasts, it was the same as any other day- first/then behavior modeling, redirecting hours of bed flopping, defending my ankles and shins against floor flops, protective holds for safety. hours and hours of “we have to share with our sister”.

Spinning, slamming his body into things, jumping on furniture, crashing, inappropriate laughter, scripting, self-injurious behavior. Today is hard, today is lots of tears, and loud noises. Quarantine has done us in, the lack of school, lack of therapy, the isolation, no routine – we are hitting the point where play is no longer functional, taking a ride isn’t enough, he wants the zoo and swimming, and we feel like we are trapped, I am tired, we are all emotional – I feel like we are losing him again and autism and anxiety are winning.

So to the mama who hid her tears today, who felt like she wasn’t doing enough, who wished for crafts and homemade cards, who doesn’t know how she will make it to bedtime, who raised her voice, who is searching for answers of how to help her child, who wanted to push the reset button, I see you! You are not alone, and you ARE a good mom!

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